


For God So Loved the World, but Not the South Americans

by heartbeatstumbles



Category: Christian Bible (Old Testament)
Genre: Crack, Osmosis Exchange
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-12
Updated: 2019-11-12
Packaged: 2021-01-29 16:23:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21413128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heartbeatstumbles/pseuds/heartbeatstumbles
Summary: Noah's wife has some doubts.
Comments: 3
Kudos: 9
Collections: Osmosis Exchange





	For God So Loved the World, but Not the South Americans

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ba_lailah](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ba_lailah/gifts).

> Hello! I am writing this for Osmosis Exchange, in which we write about things we have only a vague approximation of. I have not read the Bible. Constructive criticism is welcome!

Noah thought he was explaining everything just fine, thank you very much.

“But what do you _ mean _ that God has decided to drown the whole world? I’ve been doing all my prayers and buying the subscription indulgences. I have paid on time. Why would the Almighty destroy all of my hard work, my crops, my cabbages?” Noah’s wife angrily gesticulated at the land around them, at their life and home. “Why would he do this to us?”

“My darling - ” Noah placed his hands on his wife’s shoulders. “ - We are not to question the Almighty. I am simply a messenger and I am sure He has good things in store for us. Just, you know, after we flood the world and kill all the sinners.”

“But what about my friend Maria? Surely she has not angered Him, yet we must leave her to drown as well? What about the innocents, or the South Americans? It is not their fault they know not of the Almighty. Surely there is at least one worthy person in the whole continent.”

“I am sorry darling, but there simply isn’t room on the boat. Each unicorn requires three rooms alone. I am sure Maria will be fine.” Noah looked up toward the sky, which was already turning dark. “God will take care of it. Probably. God said He would make a rain bow as a present to tell us he will no longer drown the whole world.”

“What is a rain bow?”

“That, darling, I do not know. Come, get in the boat and let us sing the Psalms. They do not rhyme.”


End file.
